Let's dance to Joy Division

Liar Lady Luck. Fate, Fate, Fickle Fate. The stars. Conniving Cupid. Karma. Put your trust in what you like but there is only one true law of nature I believe in. Sod’s Law. For the uninitiated, or non-British, Sod’s Law (also called Murphy’s Law) follows the basic premise “if something can go wrong it will go wrong at the most inopportune moment and with maximum annoyance caused with a double dose of irony”. Look, I found a graph to prove it. The table on the right even explains how to make your own scientifically proven Sod’s Law rating out of ten. Irony, whined Alanis Morrissette “is meeting the man of your dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife”. That is a special sort of irony called Cosmic Irony and not the verbal irony the British love. Sod’s Law is pretty much Cosmic Irony. The Gods have decided to show what life could be if only you were perfect. But you’re not. So instead you can have this shit. Cosmic Irony is the gorgeous man on the internet dating site who is perfect in every way except under the heading of ‘interests’ he has written ‘steak’. How exactly can meat be of interest to anyone who isn’t a farmer or butcher? Sod’s Law is the only vegan I’ve tracked down so far is a nutter who doesn’t believe in global warming. Sod’s Law clearly stated from the beginning that searching for my perfect man would obviously bring up only one option – the guy Pippa already has her eye on. Damn. Maybe I should give up? But no. Sod’s Law says the day I stop my subscription is the day Alex, yes the real, Russian Alex, tracks me down and sends me an email beginning “we met in a dream.”

The winkers on the dating site have at least ‘entertained’ me for a week. If being equally revolted and horrified counts as entertainment. The Alex who asked to meet never got back to me. I suggested Thursday and that was the end of that. There is the guy in full combat gear posing with a gun. Oh attractive! The man with – is that six or seven?-chins. Another boy called Alex who is a special sort of ugly. Some guy who clearly wants to be Liam Gallagher…. And the list goes on. I’ve arranged to meet two of the others this week, have proposed to meet another (no reply as yet) and a fourth has suggested we meet for a one day festival in the near future. Not near enough so I shall schedule him in too.

That little lot were keeping my mind occupied. No more Spaniel. GM is totally loved up elsewhere. P/B and GM’s bands both had gigs on Saturday and I went to neither… just to get home and find I had got an email from P/B after all. Whoops. Still they’re all crossed off my list and I never have to see them again. Except… at my leaving do I was explaining to a teacher, the teacher Spaniel covers for, which school I was off to. “Oh, Daniel works there too,” she said. And Sod’s Law says I will be working very closely with him in the future too.